Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Wondering (the invention of writing)

As I set out to take up some virtual space, pollute some real environment yet more and potentially waste some of your (precious?) time, I have no idea what I'm going to write about yet. But isn't that how people possibly started writing in the first place? I'm imagining this guy thousands and thousands of years ago, somewhere on this planet, sitting at the edge of a cliff, with a nice big stone staring at him and a smaller one (let's say it's sharp) right next to it. He picks them both up and starts drawing something on the big one using the small one. And he draws and draws and time passes (as usual) and then some friend creeps up from behind and goes... "BOO!!!" and our first guy gets shit scared and drops both stones and down the cliff they fall and into the valley below. And he's quite annoyed (to say the least) because he was drawing his favorite lady from the village and he didn't want anyone to know he fancied her, which is why his drawing was a piece of abstract art, but now it's gone and it was soooo beautiful although Picasso still hadn't been born and now... what?

Well, I guess he just turned around to face his silly friend who had scared the... art out of him and grinned at him in a manner clever enough to conceal the traits carved onto the lost stone and just pretended the grin was about the scare and.. end of story?

Well, not quite... A couple of hours later indeed (he had by now got rid of his "friend"), he went down to the valley and found his stone. "BOO!" he shouted to the stone as he picked it up to look at it. YES! It was the one. Only it was lying sideways, but of course he could still recognize his abstract of a sweetheart. He brought the stone closer to his eyes and said "BOO" once more and decided to name his pre-Picassian work of art... well, "BOO" of course! He then turned the stone 45 degrees clockwise (I know they didn't have clocks yet!) and looked at his idol once more. This time she looked like he knew her. Well, the tits, the belly and the exaggerated approximation of her private parts at least. And then, imagining he would manage to get her to lie down for him (and for herself of course!), he turned the stone 45 degrees anticlockwise, back to how he had found it lying on the ground and thought... "Hey! We don't have a word for this position of the woman. I shall call it 'BOO'." And thus the first written word was born...

BOO 1.- friendly but scary shout (like Boo! in English)
2.- sexy woman lying down (hence de-bout, pronounced de-boo in French = standing up)

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